I seriously need to get my life on track. I have no idea what I want to do in the future, but the future is getting closer and closer. In 5 years Im gonna be like 30. Ugh. My father used to pressure me so much on figuring out a goal, a career early so I can work on it while I'm young. Clearly I've listened -_-
It's not like I haven't been trying, just probably not trying hard enough. Every time I get an idea it all goes to the waste side. Math teacher, computer programmer, artist, videogame designer, music producer, landscape architect. I get to a point where it just dies, the drive to want something. I don't know whats wrong with me but this is getting out of hand and I think I have to take a stand somewhere. So I've been thinking on getting my head straight by the summer. By then whatever it is my insane mind decides at the moment might be a desired career, I'm going to take classes in the fall for it. If its a bust, oh well, at least I tried and can move on. I am at the point where sitting around in these jobs of no future and just trying to figure it out on my own isn't going to work. If I at least get my foot in something, and it does or doesn't work out, I can live with that and keep trying.
Talking to my friend today has gotten me in a weird mood where I am excited a little about the possibilities of trying this out and also bummed about my sad wasted past. Sigh. Taking action is the best course I guess. Hope I don't change my mind. This year I am trying my best to concentrate on things that I usually would procrastinate over. I am the essence of Sloth, deadliest of sins. (actually its Pride haha)
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Ahhhh, I hate thinking about careers. I was dead set on my career for a good 4 years and then I chickened out, and my passion for it totally died. I have no clue what I want to do anymore, and yeah, the future keeps coming faster and faster. I get really worried about what I'm doing with my life too, and most of my friends still have no clue as well, so you're not alone. It's just a weird thought to have to do one thing for the rest of your working life. I mean TECHNICALLY you don't HAVE to, but in the jist of things it's the final hoorah when you figure it out. But I know you'll figure it out, don't get too bent out of shape about it, it'll come in time. <3333
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